shut up and read

Ever since I entered my new job, I faced a totally different atmosphere, which is actually make sense. New job brings new vibes. Normal. But these vibes are not always positive. Some of the unpleasant and uncontrolled vibes are gossips. People like to gossip. Easily distracted by gossip. Especially when it comes to those who are close to them. We are talking about our colleagues and friends occasionally, or to some people, more frequently than that, and most of the time it is NOT positive. It is not filled with praises of other people achievement but it is more into what the other people do wrong at work. And I am among those people who like to talk about my colleagues behind their back. I feel bad since the beginning. But I cannot help it. If you are in a group of colleagues and all of them especially at lunch time just talk about other people downside, it is really difficult for me not to get along and give comments. It is impossible for me to stay silent. Otherwise perhaps they will look at me with a weird look.

But overtime I feel overwhelmed and improper for me to be in this position. I cannot control myself and words that are spoken out of my lips don't really represent my true character, or at least what I want to be. I want to be a good person at heart. And I have to start by putting some barriers on topics I want to talk about. One way is to stay silent. And another one is to read more books. A high hope for myself I will not break this promise too early.


Good night.