patience over due
This week I feel deeply exhausted.
This, the feeling, is not new. Ever since I started working at my current office, I feel that my mental has been constantly pushed to the highest bar. Sometimes I pass the bar and landed with relieve, but most of the time I failed and let my emotion conquer me.
To be honest, first thing that has been the cause of my exhaustion is the endless trip to and fro my office. In total I can spend at least 5 hours on the road. When I arrive in my office I already feel tired and ended up sleeping or just watching talshows from YouTube.
Second, I am mentally tired by all the drama in the office. I am tired for trying to be friendly with those who are not friendly to me but I need to be friendly to them because we will spend the rest of our career times together. I am tired for trying to smile and say hi first when the response was just an obligatory hi. Basically, I am tired to start first.
People say you have to be patience. But sorry to say, I think my patience is way over due. From now on, I will do what I like. Of course I would not be a frontal arrogant woman in her middle 30s. Polite is a must but befriend people is not a necessity at all. I will stay in my room for as long as I like if I feel like not seeing anybody. I will not open my door if I don't feel to. I will prioritize my own goal instead of team or anything else.
Family will always be my number one. Work is just an activity to fill the spare time.
This, the feeling, is not new. Ever since I started working at my current office, I feel that my mental has been constantly pushed to the highest bar. Sometimes I pass the bar and landed with relieve, but most of the time I failed and let my emotion conquer me.
To be honest, first thing that has been the cause of my exhaustion is the endless trip to and fro my office. In total I can spend at least 5 hours on the road. When I arrive in my office I already feel tired and ended up sleeping or just watching talshows from YouTube.
Second, I am mentally tired by all the drama in the office. I am tired for trying to be friendly with those who are not friendly to me but I need to be friendly to them because we will spend the rest of our career times together. I am tired for trying to smile and say hi first when the response was just an obligatory hi. Basically, I am tired to start first.
People say you have to be patience. But sorry to say, I think my patience is way over due. From now on, I will do what I like. Of course I would not be a frontal arrogant woman in her middle 30s. Polite is a must but befriend people is not a necessity at all. I will stay in my room for as long as I like if I feel like not seeing anybody. I will not open my door if I don't feel to. I will prioritize my own goal instead of team or anything else.
Family will always be my number one. Work is just an activity to fill the spare time.
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